A Man and A Woman - U2

"I could never take a chance
Of losing love to find romance
In the mysterious distance
Between a man and a woman
No I could never take a chance
'Cause I could never understand
The mysterious distance
Between a man and a woman..."

Over the weekend, something significant happened besides me having my wise old tooth taken out.

N and me have been married for almost 2 years. If someone were to say to me that the first year or two were the "honeymoon" phase, I;d say it's pure horseshit. It wasnt the easiest thing to go through with, this crazy "little" thing called marriage. Sure, we've known and dated each other for 6 years. You would think in that span of 6 years you would have known every single minute detail about your partner. Truth is, it is only a drop in the ocean. You begin a new slate when you get married, because previously it was always a space of ONE and now it has become a space of ONE and the OTHER one. your privacy is breached, your are somewhat "forced" to be in each other's existence, even during those days when you just want to scream "CAN I JUST HAVE MY OWN BUBBLE??"

So it was as much of an adventure as well as it was a test. And also , knowing someone for so long makes you take some of the smallest things for granted. Someone told me once that when you are at your most comfortable is when shit happens , because you tend to let your guard down.because you tend to think "everything's gonna be alright". And that is what happened to me, to us this weekend. No, i stand corrected, it was happening all along, but I never choose to see it. I took the smallest things for granted, things that made her happy, things that doesnt always have to be in the "big picture". An when shit REALLY hits the fan, you go on thinking " My God, what an asshole i was all this while".

It's not easy. sometimes you think you're doing the right thing, but you;re not. sometimes you think you've let your ego back away but it hasnt. Sometimes you would think you've made the right choice but turns out to be one of the worst you've made in your entire life. But it remains a challenge I'm willing to face everday. I hurt N this weekend, it was ( to me) seemed like a small thing but as I've said before, never take the smallest things for granted. it is always the small ones that get away.

I'm no relationship expert. sure there'll be cynics out there who will think the institution of marriage is a farce. i am not of them. And as sappy as this my sound, I am a true believer and supporter of marriage that is in touch with the ground you step on, in touch with reality, not diabetic induced hallmark moments.

Go on, go love someone right now,